27 August, 2008


L. Ron Hubbard received holy wisdom through mental disease, amphetamines and pederasty, and was told when to give up writing sci-fi by the plurality of the voices in his head and to, instead, found a religion.

Let it be known: Lt. Ronald Hubbard certainly didn't give up sci-fi and go on to Dianetics, etc because (paraphrase): The real money is in religion.


Now I have been called in a way I didn't expect!: To tell you what stocks to buy!

Sadly, my epiphany doesn't involve an intergalactic opera and nuclear bombs inside volcanoes.

But from here on THE FIBROMYALGIAN will also function, occasionally, as a Here's What to Invest in Right Now! blog.


Apple! I just did, and if everyone who reads this (you, boyo!) does too, we'll send the stock up perhaps a fraction of a small fraction. Guaranteed green, blogfriends!**

But, given my extremely limited resources (all my money belongs to debtors), why would I buy Apple? Why now?

Good questions. Thanks for getting right to it.

I am making Apple a short play -- which I think means that I bought some of its stock, but plan on selling my purchase off rather soon.

Why? Glad you asked!

On September 9 Apple is likely going to announce a revamp of its entire iPod lineup, and the MacBook and MacBook Pro.

...As long as we're doing this, let's toss some completely unsubstantiated rumors around: Apple may be making all its notebooks with touchscreens, so the interface will function much like the iPhone's.

Closer to reality, perhaps, is the possibility that the Mac Mini could bow out and a Mac tablet take its place. ...Many people keep rumors going about this possibility, but forget that they wouldn't buy a tablet PC -- even if it is as sweet as an iPhone on 'roids.

Tablet PCs have been around forever. (Remember the Newton!) They don't get bought. But reading all the rumors re a Mac tablet certainly gives one the impression that there's an untapped market waiting at the gates for the doors to be flung open.


[In this space is this sentence instead of a few paragraphs that were deleted for posterity.]

Short: Big product rollout September 9. If you need money for the short term, as I do, buy as many slices of Apple as you can about one half-hour after trading opens (things are cheap around ten a.m. for as much reason as exists in the stock market) tomorrow (use a cheap service like Scottrade or something such).

Then hold tight for just a few weeks or so until Apple announces its financials in its fourth-quarter earnings statement.

Apple sold the hell out of the iPhone 3G in that (this) quarter. Despite issues/flaws/whatever, the iPhone 3G remains an unattainable must-have.

Primarily for this reason, listen in to Apple's 4Q go-round with the analysts, hope that everything any analyst has to say is positive and that you hear "exceeding expected earnings for the quarter by..." as often as possible.

M-kay. That's this edition of THE FIBROMYALGIAN INVESTOR.

Expect more amazing advice and insight in the future.

(But please be aware that the advice given in this and any post on THE FIBROMYALGIAN is not to be construed in any way as advice. --Nothing written is meant to motivate you to do anything, no statement demanding or suggesting you should do something or any thing demands or suggests that you actually do do something or any thing.

(I think this should catch all: This blog post is for entertainment purposes only. The author of this blog expects that the reader will live his/her life after reading the post just as if he/she never read the post.

*The title of this post is in no way meant to suggest that you should "invest the Fibromyalgian's way."

**Any guarantees or promises ever made by C.Bandini are neither. Bandini bears no responsibility for anything -- and that would include washing himself if he had the money to pay someone to do that for him.

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17 August, 2008


Wellsphere.com has been kind enough to add this blog's posts to their site, and to give me the laurels you see to your left.

I hope they know what they've gotten into...

Until my posts are pulled from their site for their off-topic topics, for revealing only the author's venality and adoration of expletives, I thank everyone who is part of Wellsphere.

...Well, I'll still thank them, even after my posts are scratched out, for being a site where one can find a lot of good info from real people.

--Now to throw in something to do with fibromyalgia (which I feel a bit pressured to do because of my new attachment to Wellshpere, I must admit):

For the past two weeks I've had to keep a regular weekday schedule: The alarm's sound comes at 8 a.m.... The only sound I hate more than Celine Dion's voice. I swallow the small bottle I filled the night before: 60mg Ritalin, 10mg OxyContin, 2mg Klonopin. Then I curl up and get back to sleeping.

An hour plus thirty minutes later the Ritalin kicks and I have to move. It is very important that I'm up and about by 11 (for reasons I must omit with apologies) and, because I need twelve hours of sleep per night -- which I finally figured out after having fibro for how long? --
I developed the forced-wakefulness regimen described above.

On the weekends I hibernate. I sleep from whenever the steam furnace runs out of charcoal to feed it and hit the pillows and blankets Friday night and remain there, with small breaks to watch TV and take meds, until around four or five p.m. Sunday.

Sleep is important. Especially, I hear and read and experience personally, to people with fibro.

So I neglect my Rit. pills on the weekend and catch up on what I missed through the forced-wakefulness project.

All of which is bad and stupid and for the love of oxygen don't do anything like what I've described, be harmed in some way by it and sue me. Every and any action I take is not to be done by anyone else and I cannot and do not condone my own behavior. The things described in this post have been performed by a professional weirdo and should not be imitated or deemed rational by anyone.

...Today I woke at 4:30 p.m. And I hope to be sleeping again by 1 a.m. because I want to be ready to kill the alarm tomorrow morning, down my drug cocktail and get back to sleep. ...The elapsed time between my waking at eight and being asleep again is now only five minutes.

I'm an extraordinary machine.*

*Buy every Fiona Apple album.

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