Sex Is Medicine

...And our sick and wrong world with its sick and wrong religions considers celibacy, chastity and especially virginity to be virtues.

...Deadly Virtues (ominous bum-BUM).

For the gods' sakes', Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders lost her post because of the following:

"In 1994, [Elders] was invited to speak at a United Nations conference on AIDS. She was asked whether it would be appropriate to promote masturbation as a means of preventing young people from engaging in riskier forms of sexual activity, and she replied, 'I think that it is part of human sexuality, and perhaps it should be taught.' (Wiki, of course)

In fact, masturbating like a fiend is being linked to myriad benefits.

Bu sex is better.

(The citations below are from this Wikipedia page.)

"In 1997, Forbes Magazine reported on 'one of the most credible studies correlating overall health with sexual frequency'. [sic] Queens University in Belfast tracked the mortality of about 1,000 middle-aged men over the course of a decade. The study, published in 1997 in the British Medical Journal found that 'men who reported the highest frequency of orgasm enjoyed a death rate half that of the laggards'; that is to say, those that engaged in sex more frequently enjoyed longer lives. The report also cited other studies to show that having sex even a few times a week may be associated with: improved sense of smell; reduced risk of heart disease; weight loss and overall fitness; reduced depression (in women); the relief or lessening of pain; less frequent colds and flu; better bladder control; better teeth; and improved prostate function. The report cited a study published by the British Journal of Urology International which indicated that men in their 20s can reduce by a third their chance of getting prostate cancer by ejaculating more than five times a week."

And you just have to love Bush II, who will leave office having done irreparable harm to the US and not a single good thing to/for it.

At least the below action wasn't evil:

"In 2006, the George W. Bush administration expanded abstinence programs from teens to adults, by introducing programs to encourage unmarried adults to remain abstinent until marriage." (italics mine)

At what age did Bush II swim up from decades of alcohol and drug abuse? And what goes with alcohol and drugs like alcohol with drugs? Sex.

Why does a piece of advice always have to come from someone who did fine without it him-/herself? What worth is such advice to be given?

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All (Hetero) Sex Must Cease for Abortion to End

Twenty percent of pregnancies result in spontaneous abortion, the medical term for miscarriage.

What's more, "Studies have found that 30 to 50 percent of fertilized eggs are lost before a woman finds out she's pregnant, because [stet] they're lost so early that she goes on to get her period about on time -- in other words the woman doesn't realize she was pregnant at all." (Go here for more.)

Abortion is a natural phenomenon. Anyone trying to get pregnant or engaged in behavior that could result in pregnancy is, without any doubt also -- statistically -- risking having a natural abortion.

Therefore, it seems Pro-Lifers should vociferously take up the cause to stop everyone from having unprotected sex and to get every woman on the pill.

Or to do all in their power to make everyone everywhere one-hundred percent abstinent. No sex among the married -- spontaneous abortion can (and does) happen to women whenever, wherever, etc.

To end abortion absolutely we must put an end to (almost) ALL sex, including sex between heterosexual married couples.

A delicious irony is that the only people who can have sex and not risk abortion are gays and lesbians.

And any Pro-Lifer who is a woman may have unknowingly killed a soul-endowed blastocyst during her menstrual cycle, making who knows how many of them goddamn hypocrites.

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DONE!

I hate the fact that I'm putting exclamation points on my short stories just to make them fit the style of this blog... Just as I'm sure many of you are sick of me not writing about fibro and instead writing short shorts (use NAIR).

This is Done

“I love you l love you I love you...” I breathed into her ear as I came.

Her breath had slowed...

Both of us were done.

For years we had messed around, but this was the first time we had had sex... And in a way that used every aspect of the right-angled couch that sprawled along her one-thousand-square-foot basement...

It was supposed to be bad... Everyone we knew told us it would be. But it was like seeing the Fourth of July from the Point (which I would do much later and find analogous) in San Diego: fireworks everywhere... Unable to see it all, everything happening too quickly... The moment over before it began...

Ten years later more than made up for it.

I called her, drunk; I had had a dream in which she was killed.

It was 4 a.m. She picked up on the second ring:

“Calvin! I’ve been trying to reach you for two weeks!”

“Why? Are you OK? You’re not hurt are you?”

“No... I had this weird dream.”

“I had one too. Just now.”

“Are you OK?”

“Good, now.


“So how have you been in the ten years since we last talked to each other?”

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OXYCONTIN, SOCIAL SECURITY, AND HELL!

I couldn’t post yesterday because my server was down. So here’s what happened yesterday:

I had to fill out new forms for my lawyers who only now are getting around to processing my change of address. ...I guess this is what happens when you hire a big firm and they switch your caseworker one billion times on you: Important things are shunted into the memory Hole. (Note to self: I’ve used “Memory Hole” too much lately.)

So I had to fill in a form to let my current caseworker know that she needs to check out my six new doctors -- my psychologist, my neuropsychologist, my GP, my pain management specialist, my psychiatrist and my physical therapist.

So the ball is rolling in Jesusland... But that ball feels a lot like the boulder Sisyphus rolls...

Also, I’ve been taking 30mg OxyContin daily, and have yet to adjust to its side-effects. namely, I get motion sickness from being in a car for two minutes and constantly feel tired.

This, too, shall pass.

Also (I’m wicked-awesome at transitions...), I’m finishing Dante’s Inferno today. It has failed to bring me back into the Catholic fold because the people he finds in hell who are punished harshly are the people he, personally, hates the most.

So this atheist, apparently, is only going to hell if Dante is my judge, and finds my character unbecoming...

It would seem I will end up with the Virtuous Pagans. In which case, the Citadel provides all the light I will need.

...Then again, I’ve had freaky sex (“freaky” in Dante’s view, includes oral and probably any position but missionary), so I suppose I could be cast about with the Sodomites. But, then, Dante put three of his favorite writers in with the Sodomites, and writes that their fate seems not-too harsh. ...And is the only person to ever suggest that these persons were Sodomites.

It seems to me that, before he took a break in writing the Inferno, Dante would have cast them in with the Virtuous Pagans, if not placed them in Purgatory, had he not wanted to talk to them so badly.

So my afterlife, according to Dante, should not be so bad... At least I’m not one of his hated popes. Then again, he judges everyone but the Florentines to be incredibly sinful people... But it should serve me well that I am not from any of the Italian places he names that are full of nothing but Grafters, etc.

Which brings me to this larger point: All religious people would place in Hell those they, personally, detest.

Leave it to divine judgment and shut the fuck up, people!

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A USE FOR E-STIM THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE KINKY SEX!

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As mentioned previously, I'm now in physical therapy. The best part of it is, after my fifteen minutes of exercises that would bore and insult the strength of a five-year-old, but left me needing a shot of Demerol on Wednesday, I get to lay down on a comfy table with a comfy pillow under my head and have four electrodes placed on my person.

Four of these were used Wednesday to form a rough square in the middle of my back on Wednesday, then the juice was gradually turned up, click by click. (I couldn't hear clicks, but knew the system must be a click-dial or a push-button by the way the intensity stepped up.)

"Let me know when you begin to feel it."

In a few seconds my muscles began to... hum beneath the electrodes -- contracting and releasing with increasing frequency as the dial or whatever was turned up.

"Yeah, there it is. That's funny."

"OK. We want to get to the point where the muscles are almost going to spasm, but not quite."

"OK."

So the dial went up for a while. The sensation was pretty cool... Like a massage from an android with ten thousand fingers, each 10,000th of an inch in diameter.

When we found the right point, a cooling blanket (I chose cold over hot) was laid over my entire back and I was left to chillax. (Yep. Wrote "chillax." There's no one here to reign in my obnoxiousness.) Every five minutes Vincent van Gogh (not his real name) came in to turn up the stim a little, since I could take more as I adjusted to the cold.

So Thursday I was completely wrecked from my toddler's workout. Absolutely every part of my body hurt and hurt bad bad bad bad badly.

Well, maybe there really are no absolutes... Because the ten-inch square the e-stim had worked it's magic on was pain-free.

Today I woke with a 12/10 migraine and my backs' trigger points ' keeping the migraine company at such great heights.

But, after what is for me fifteen minutes of agony, next-day-delivery, I received e-stim treatment on my upper and lower back.

I cautiously say that my back pain could be reduced to a satisfying degree tomorrow. And it's strange to say that I look forward to getting up in the morning.

Which is sad.

Which is to say, it's depressing that I'm so obviously depressed.

...Pushing right along, my physical therapist Mary Cassatt says that in a month or so, when it is proven to my insurance provider (thievery corporation) that the e-stim is a great benefit to me, I will be able to get a unit to use at home. I will be one step closer to being free from doctors' whims.

I no longer will need trigger point injections. E-stim will supplant them -- relaxing the muscles in the same way, and able to do so just as well and everywhere injections can be given, including the TMJ, which I was sure to ask about today.

Then all I will need is a doctor to write periodic scripts for COAT (chronic opioid analgesic therapy). (I can take care of physical therapy at a gym.)

And that's it. That's all there is to it. I live happily ever after.

The hard part is now: being so close.

Waiting.

[Pain, overall: 7/10.

Anxiety: 7/10.

And my god did I pack in a lot of references into this post...]
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