NOW X AND I ARE, AGAIN, SPEAKING TO ONE ANOTHER!

[I wrote this e-mail in a fugue...]

How I feel about you makes no sense to me...

I thought I could hate you. I thought I could live the rest of my life without knowing that you're all right.

It seems I must simply accept that I cannot.

X:

All the things you said to me when we talked last are exactly what you need to convey to your ex...

But I don't want to throw the ashes of that conversation into the wind and bring them back in our faces.

I want to write, simply, that I somehow cannot stop caring about you -- and not because I want you sexually or whatever whatever...

You are a huge part of my history. And I don't want whatever we are to and for each other to be just that -- the past and only.

It makes me feel horrible to write that I need you... Just you, to be alive, to exist, to enjoy your life... And that not knowing that you are, that you are, that you do, will take something from me... Diminish me.

I cannot understand what I have just written...

I can only surmise that I miss you.

Mixx it!