THIS GUY IS VERY FUNNY (OR, WELCOME BACK VICODIN)!

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This Brit living in Australia reviews video games in a very gonzo way and it's fall-on-your-funny bone hilarious even if you're not a nerd:




link:

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/zeropunctuation/2048-Zero-Punctuation-Manhunt

Huzzah and kudos, Yahtzee!

[Pain, overall: 7/10. Was given Vicodin to tide me over until Monday, when I can once again become my doctor's pin cushion. And that's not a complaint, that's a statement of fact. And the fact is one that makes me overjoyed.

And I used to be afraid of needles. Very afraid. Ever since I was about eight and a douchebag doctor tried to give me a spinal tap. He didn't use any anesthetic -- not even local -- simply had me tuck forward as I sat on the paper on the half-table-bed-thing and then there was JAB and SEARCH under my skin and through my vertebrae. I recall my hand going completely numb at one point, and wondering if I had become partially paralyzed at that point.

And, being a kid, I was crying, howling from the pain and the terror I was feeling while the doctor tried and tried again before giving up.

The procedure eventually was finished after my parents calmed me down and I was sedated. My mom held me as I cried for a half-hour, as I was still feeling the needle crawl everywhere under my skin, mechanical, lifeless steel, foreign, an intruder, no business among my living blood and through my bone and against my spine oh my god he almost paralyzed me!

I can still feel where the steroid and Toradol (I think I mistook it for Tagretol in a past post -- which I may have gone back and corrected...) needles went in my hips a week-and-a-half ago. The fucking needles.

But I love the feeling of my skin giving way -- a small depression, a dimple forming around the needle's odd tip that seems to swirl upward, the diameter of a sewing needle that would be impossible to thread -- the instant of clear and bright pain as the needle goes through skin and into muscle, straight into a a ball of pain causing more, the skin behind my closed eyes becoming brighter and clearer, white and translucent and I can almost see the end of the rainbow as my head begins to clear and I can open my eyes and breathe and everything looks different and the world has changed because everything is softer, the hard edges are gone -- everything doesn’t exist simply to injure me through the fact of its existence, the fact I have to see it or try to close my eyes to not see it or be somewhere else to not see it or have to deal with being that batshit insane crazy in pain because the world is kind now and soft and warm as the lighting on a Barbra Walters Special.

...That is to say, I am afraid of needles as a general rule, but I am less-than-afraid of trigger point injections.

Anxiety: 7/10. I am on Vicodin and Klonopin. On considerable amounts of Vicodin and Klonopin.]
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Mixx it!