I received an itemized bill today that gives a near-complete breakdown of the treatments I received from Dr 9 and their costs. Please note that there was absolutely no long-term improvement in my pain during this time. (The only relief was from Demerol and an IV of Toradol. Each lasted only a few hours.)
Also please note the insane expense I had to go to with Dr 9. Please compare it with the expense of seeing Dr ML&S, who has enormously enhanced my quality of life and greatly reduced my pain:
MONTHLY:
Visit: $25 copay
OxyContin: $10 copay
SHAMELESS BEGGING: You hitting the DONATE button on your right would be pretty freaking sweet right about now!
KEY:
Trigger-point injections: Marcaine (a cousin of lidocaine) was injected into various trigger points in my shoulders and back to try to ease my pain. They didn't. At all. Most doctors seem to believe that if one's trigger points are "taken care of," fibro pain will go away. Bullshit, stupid, false info that needs to be erased.
Depo-medrol: Steroid. Ineffective.
Demerol: Heaven when given IM. Narcotic analgesic.
Phenergan: Probably used in my treatment as a sedative/pain reliever. Completely ineffective.
Toradol: NSAID: Non-Steroidal Anti-Inflammatory: Stupid. Fibro does not involve inflammation. But IV Toradol was somewhat effective at easing my pain. IM it was useless (I received it only once IV, and so when is not noted below. Apologies.)
Tigan: Given to combat the constant nausea from my daily migraines. Somewhat effective. Given on every visit but the first few, though not noted on the bill.
Nubain: Some kind of bullshit-wannabe-narcotic. Given for pain. Not effective... Or was it? I'm having a fibro fog day... Locked keys in a running car... Please see the post on or after the day I was given Nubain to read what I really thought about it.
Benadryl: Explained here only to be thorough: Antihistamine. Why would a fibromyalgian be given this shit IV? Hell if I know...
IM: Intramuscular: This is shorthand to note that the drug was injected into my ass muscles.
IV: Intravenous: You know this and I know you know -- explaining to be thorough: shorthand for noting the drug or "treatment" was injected into a vein.
1/9/08:
Office/outpatient visit: $225
Multiple trigger-point injections: $100
Injection administration: $20
Depo-medrol IM, 80mg: $30
1/16/08
Office/outpatient visit: $105
Multiple trigger-point injections: $100
Injection administration: $20
Depo-medrol IM, 80mg: $30
1/21/08
Multiple trigger-point injections: $100
Injection administration: $20
Demerol IM, 100mg: $5
Phenergan IM, 50mg: $7
Toradol IM, 15mg: $48
1/22/08
Office/outpatient visit: $105
Multiple trigger-point injections: $100
Injection administration: $20
Drain/inject small joint or bursa: $125
Depo-medrol IM, 40mg: $22
Toradol IM, 15mg: $48
1/23/08
Office/outpatient visit: $105
Multiple trigger-point injections: $100
Injection administration: $20
Depo-medrol IM, 20mg: $8
1/24/08
Office/outpatient visit: $105
Multiple trigger-point injections: $100
Injection administration: $20
1/28/08
Office/outpatient visit: $105
Multiple trigger-point injections: $100
Injection administration: $20
1/29/08
Office/outpatient visit: $105
Multiple trigger-point injections: $220
Injection administration: $20
Toradol IM, 15mg: $48
Nubain IM, 10mg: $10
Tigan, swallowed, 200mg: $16
1/30/08
Office/outpatient visit: $105
Multiple trigger-point injections: $100
Injection administration: $20
Depo-medrol IM, 80mg: $30
1/31/08
Office/outpatient visit: $105
Multiple trigger-point injections: $100
Injection administration: $20
Depo-medrol IM, 80mg: $30
2/4/08
Office/outpatient visit: $105
Multiple trigger-point injections: $100
Injection administration: $20
Toradol IM, 15mg: $48
2/5/08
Office/outpatient visit: $105
Multiple trigger-point injections: $100
Injection administration: $20
2/6/08
Office/outpatient visit: $105
Multiple trigger-point injections: $100
Injection administration: $20
Phenergan IM, 50mg: $7
Toradol IM, 15mg: $48
Demerol IM, 100mg: priceless. Lame joke and I apologize: $5
2/11/08
Office/outpatient visit: $105
Benadryl HCL IV, 50mg: $5
IV hydration (because I was in so much pain I could no longer eat or drink -- even water -- IBS, nausea, on and on... The nurse blew out one of my veins that day, and it hurts to this one, nearly two months later): $105
IV push (of Benadryl. ...That's right, I was charged the following amount for someone pushing a syringe's plunger): $25
2/13/08
Office/outpatient visit: $70 (for some reason... Or none at all.)
Multiple trigger-point injections: $100
Injection administration: $20
Toradol IM, 15mg: $48
2/14/08
Office/outpatient visit: $105
Toradol IM, 15mg: $12
IV infusion for therapy (likely hydration): $105
IV push (gimme the syringe so I can press down with my thumb, dammit!): $25
IV all other solutions (who knows what the hell went in my vein that day): $5
02 April, 2008
DR. 9'S FIBROMYALGIA 'TREATMENTS' AND THEIR COSTS!:
Posted by
Andy Rooney
at
12:13 PM
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Labels: Benadryl, demerol, Depo-medrol, fibro, fibro fog, fibromyalgia, fibromyalgian, IM, IV, marcaine, Nubain, oxycontin, Phenergan, Tigan, Toradol
19 February, 2008
PAIN, ANXIETY OFF THE CHARTS!
"Today I really struggle[d] with my fibromyalgia..."
And that's after taking (so far today):
200mg Ultram (does nothing, hoping for placebo effect... Anything, somehow...)
4mg Klonopin, can't take any more today, so I'm up Shit Creek without a flotation device.
150mg Vistaril, something my quack shrink, Dr Douchebag, gave me when he took away 2mg Klonopin daily (knocked me down from 6mg to 4mg on my first visit, practically as a way of saying hello). I think it's a fucking antihistamine. Christ...
8mg Zanaflex, just taken out of desperation. Zanaflex is supposed to reduce muscle spasticity. Joyous drug...
All this to try to tolerate being alive on this foul day as I have no doc to go to -- Dr 9 is on vacation, so I can't go in for a shot of Demerol or even an IV of Benadryl... Goddam it I'd take anything to sleep or be in less pain or... Christ, not be the thing I am now.
Anxious about the What if the Pain Center doesn't help me this Friday? I'll be totally, completely fucked.
And the pain, I cannot stress enough, is unbearable. I can't think of anything else and it's the one thing I don't want to think about...
Now I can't write any more. Too much being upright for today.
I hope to post tomorrow and the next -- off Friday for the Center appt. -- and then to write Saturday with great news. Hopefully of an oxycodone script large enough to kill a horse, but simply make my daily life bearable.
Viva hate...
Posted by
Andy Rooney
at
10:58 AM
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Labels: anxiety, chronic disorders, demerol, drugs, fibro, fibromyalgia, generalized anxiety disorder, health, klonopin, narcotics, opiates, oxycodone, pain, painkillers, panic, Ultram, vistaril, zanaflex
06 February, 2008
I'M GONNA TRY FOR THE KINGDOM IF I CAN!
.
This post is going to be short because I'm on 100mg Demerol IM and want to enjoy it with frivolity.
[Pain right now: 2/10
Anxiety right now: 2/10
Tomorrow: Fuck tomorrow.]
Posted by
Andy Rooney
at
12:29 PM
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Labels: anxiety, chronic disorders, demerol, fibro, fibromyalgia, fibromyalgian, generalized anxiety disorder, injection, narcotics, opiates, pain, pain relievers, painkillers, the velvet underground
05 February, 2008
I HATE THE WORLD SLIGHTLY LESS!
.
It turns out that my visit to my new shrink -- actually, he wasn't a shrink, but a psychologist -- was quite productive. He agreed that I need to be on a pain management protocol.
Pills, people. Stronger than Vicodin.
He agrees I need to enter the land of as-pain-free-as-possible.
And I love him.
The coolest moment was this:
I came off a rant, describing my pain, the red-hot pokers jabbed halfway through my torso from the back, six on each side of my spine, the constant marathoner's lactic acid burn in my legs, the aching in my arms that makes them feel swelled like spinached Popeye, the always-on migraine (and its friends nausea, phono- and photophobia), and he said
"Don't take this the wrong way, and don't get mad... but I really wouldn't want to be you.
"To the extent I can imagine what it must be like to be you, I wouldn't trade places with you for anything. You have to go to U of M, to Detroit, to Chicago... You have to get on a program that Dr 9 can stick to..."
I thanked him because he was the only one who hadn't condescended to me after my pain-description tirade. "Oh my god I'm so sorry. Try to stay positive." Christ. Let me douse you with gasoline, light a match and you try to fucking stay positive.
The good doctor is going to stay (very) late to dictate a message to Dr 9 to tell him that I need to get on an extremely aggressive pain management protocol. And he's going to follow up.
He cares.
Caring is creepy for a doctor to do in this purgatory of a town.
Posted by
Andy Rooney
at
4:02 PM
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Labels: chronic disorders, demerol, drugs, fibromyalgia, fibromyalgian, fibromylgia, health, lummox, marcaine, narcotics, opiates, pain, pain relievers, painkillers, Percocet, the shins, vicodin
04 February, 2008
CONFESSIONS OF A MAN INSANE ENOUGH TO LIVE WITH BEASTS!
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw/104-7667416-3791943?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=CONFESSIONS+OF+A+MAN+INSANE+ENOUGH+TO+LIVE+WITH+BEASTS&x=0&y=0
Coming out of the doctor's office feeling worse than you did when you came in is something fibromyalgians do maybe even half the time. How sick is that?
Happened to me today. Walked in with a headache that rated a 7/10. Was given anti-emetic and Maxalt plus trigger-point injections. My leg (left) had been going numb on me again. Feeling returned. Much rejoicing.
Then full-on migraine struck. half-hour later, more Maxalt. Toradol injected IM (or it could have been cat piss for all the good it did or ever does). Nothing more given. No relief. Other means sought...
Doctor now suspicious of me because I told him that, because I haven't slept more than five hours in one night since I've been off Percocet, I took a Vicodin last Thursday night to see if it would help me sleep longer. Then I took two Friday night to see if that would work. (No.) I wake up so early because I can't stand the agony of being on my back and sides any longer than a few hours and have to get onto my feet.
The only parts of my body that aren't constant pain-producers are the bottoms of my feet, my palms, my balls, and my dick. Let's hope the feet-bottoms stay painless, because I'm not learning how to balance on my hands, let alone my dick -- how could I maintain an erection that way anyway? -- nor am I about to hang myself from some ceiling by my scrotum. If I got off on that having fibro wouldn't be a problem...
But Dr 9 seemed fraught with concern. Wrinkled brow and everything. Fraught. (Who uses that word?) I put him in this state when I told him the above, plus the fact that, when the Maxalt I was given stopped working Saturday afternoon, I started popping Vicodin every hour nonstop.
And why not? Was I not in pain? Was it not lessening that pain? And if it had completely masked that pain, wouldn't I have stopped taking it? (Yes. But Vicodin isn't Percocet, and Percocet isn't IM Demerol, and even IM Demerol isn't up to the task.)
This worried my doctor. Obviously, he's dealing with a patient who will take a lot of Vicodin. And based on my history, it's because I'm in a lot of pain.
Therefore, there's nothing to do but stop prescribing me Vicodin on the weekends, get me in to physical therapy, and pump me full of IV magnesium tomorrow.
Jesus Fucking Christ I was born in an insane asylum.
If anyone sees a big guy who never has spoken, as far as you know, point him my way, please.
Posted by
Andy Rooney
at
2:18 PM
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comments
Labels: charles bukowski, chronic disorders, chronic fatigue disorder, demerol, drugs, fibro, fibromyalgia, fibromyalgian, health, ken kesey, narcotics, one flew over the cuckoo's nest, Percocet, vicodin
23 January, 2008
too happy to write
.
various trigger points are being injected in my person on a daily basis. it's been found that injecting the muscle around my temporomandibular joints results in headache pain reduction on a massive scale -- from 10/10 to 3/10: demerol-quality (it's improved since yesterday -- the left side of my face was done).
so i can't write because i'm not pissed.
but i don't expect it to last...
.
Posted by
Andy Rooney
at
8:19 PM
0
comments
Labels: chronic diseases, chronic disorders, demerol, fibro, fibromyalgia, fibromyalgian, health
21 January, 2008
DEMEROL!
.
Well, I've reached the point where I feel compelled to post regularly. Which is too bad because earlier today I was given a 100 mgIM injection of Demerol, and so I am sluggish and apathetic.
But a 3/10 on the pain scale!
My pain was intolerable over the weekend. To get to sleep Saturday I had to hit myself on my thigh with my cane as hard as I could a few times. I experienced a rush of endorphins, and the pain in my head was outdone long enough for me to get to sleep.
Then I suffered through Sunday, basically counting down the minutes until today, staring at every clock in the house, my head swelled as big as the Hindenburg. I made it... After having to knock myself out at two o'clock in the morning with 400 mg Trazodone, 10 mg Sonata, 8mg Remeron. I was awakened at seven thirty, with my head about to ignite and the rest of me as stiff as a two-by-four. I walked by swinging my legs in arcs, unable to bend my knees.
But I am lucky in many ways. The primary one being that my mother works at the clinic I go to. She was able to get me an appointment with my doctor, who I saw at about nine thirty.
I was given trigger-point injections in my shoulders, which is routine. Normally they relieve my headache substantially -- if only for one to two days. This time they only relaxed my shoulders.
I was then injected with Tegretol (I believe it was) in my left hip, which was supposed to reduce my pain. Still nothing.
Then I was given a quick-dissolve tab of Maxalt, which I gathered is a migraine-killer. It made mine worse.
Finally, about one-and-a-half hours after I was brought into the office, I was asked if I drove myself to the clinic -- no -- and if I was allergic to any medication, including Demerol. Definitely not.
And so I was injected with 100 mg of Demerol, intramuscular into my right hip. My Dad drove me home, I played Mario on our Wii for an hour, then fell asleep while watching Inland Empire (David Lynch). I awoke just in time for dinner, then felt compelled to post this.
And I realize this is as dry and flavorless as a plastic-spoonful of desert air on a windless day. But I felt I should use this space to pledge my undying love to whoever discovered/first synthesized Demerol. I can stand being alive today.
And it's unfortunate that that's the best that can be done for me at this point... But I suppose I must have patience.
Actually, I should have written that it would be to my benefit if I could have patience. I seem to be hard-wired in such a way that does not allow me to suffer waiting. For anything. Especially relief from pain that makes me wish I could die from it.
And so ug. I'll end this post here. Give it a nice, big shot of Demerol to put it to sleep...
Stay tuned for something worth reading!
[Pain and anxiety: 3/10. Demerol is magic.]
.
Posted by
Andy Rooney
at
5:16 PM
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Labels: chronic diseases, chronic disorders, demerol, drugs, fibromyalgia, fibromyalgian, narcotics, opiates, pain