FIBROMYALGIA HAS TAKEN AWAY MY ABILITY TO SKATE... BUT IS SOCIAL SECURITY DISABILITY TO BE 'AWARDED' SOON?(!)

Well, no more skating. I can’t stand the pain after falling more than a few times... And the slightest brush of a knee against a metal ledge when I miss a grind causes the joint to balloon (see prev. post).

So now I have to find another way to have fun.

Parkour? ...I need to find something that involves mortal danger (otherwise, where’s the excitement?), but causes less pain than busting my ass and knees from grinds...

Maybe I can get back into skiing... I’m hopefully about to move to Portland, near Mt. Hood and year-round skiing...

Of course, these are stupid fantasies. I haven’t come to accept the limitations fibro puts on my physical activity.

I must come to accept walking as the most strenuous activity I can do, and ten pounds as the most I can lift (no joke), and that with incredible pain.

Fuck.

Speaking of moving to Portland, I suppose my Social Security disability claim could be approved soon. Hopefully within a month, allowing me to move and once again live independently.

The waiting has become unbearable. The closer I come to being given disability benefits, the farther away it is in my sight.

...Days stretch like months... I watch the clock and urge it on but the hands move counterclockwise...

Which, naturally, makes me extremely anxious. A 10/10, as it always has been, or thereabouts, ever since I have had to live here in Lummox...

...Agony... Anxiety... Waiting...

Mixx it!