10 February, 2008


Whenever I go on a serious not-sleeping bender, I do something I regret as sure as if I haven't been laid in months and go out for the sole purpose of drinking Jagermeister.

Both ways I end up with someone or having done something that, come the next day, I end up having to explain away to my friends.

Well, I'm going to skip having to rationalize what I wrote in the posts below -- this one, and the unnecessary addendum that got into this one (I recall obsessively writing and editing these posts for hours and hours... Aimlessly) -- (I recall obsessively writing and editing these posts for hours and hours) -- by simply pressing on and not re-reading them. It's going to hurt, since grammar and pitch and tone can always be improved upon, and I have always, until now, edited posts to improve these for at least a day to two after they're completed.

So accept the two posts for what they are: the ranting of a sleepless mind, and please let me know if i wrote anything that could be used as cause to have me committed to a mental hospital.

[Pain: I feel like I opened a bag of 50 razor blades and swallowed them with a madman's aplomb, on top of the worst pain I've been in in my back back and limbs. Maxalt has reduced migraine/headache/oh what's it matter what the fuck I call it since it's there every goddam day from off the chart to an 8/10. Much rejoicing. Maxalt continues to show that it is losing its efficacy.

Anxiety: I have smoked too many cigarettes in the past couple days and so my lungs feel leaden and un-inflatable. This contributes to a feeling of suffocation, which feeds my anxiety to a 10/10.

Hatred of doctor (though likely to pass) and of Ultram: 10/10. The razorblades would be easier to digest with Vicodin.]

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